I’ve seen several post lately about bullet journaling to help with organisation and habit tracking. Now, as a lover of list and stationary, and knowing full well I need to get into a better routine, this sounded perfect. Although the time it takes to get it set up seemed daunting, I was up for the task. However, starting it at 10pm on a Saturday night was probably not the best decision, but hey, you got to start somewhere, right?
The first mistake I made was starting without a plan. Although I’ve seen post about how to do it, I didn’t think about what I need to do to make it work for me. I didn’t think about the habits I want to establish, the goals I had, or what I wanted to include in it. The second mistake was comparing my journal to everyone else’s.
I’ve always been a perfectionist, I like things to look a certain way. I see all these beautifully laid out journal pages and I want mine to look the same, but they don’t. As I rip out pages and redo them, my anxiety is growing and I feel myself getting more and more upset over something that should help me. Please tell me I’m not the only one who feels this way.
A lot of my recent anxiety and poor mindset is comparing myself to others. My body, my circumstances, how they raise their kids and yes, even how the organise a bloody journal! In recent months if something becomes too stressful and triggers my anxiety I stop that activity. That’s not how I want to live my life. I never used to be like that. Just because something may be difficult or frustrating doesn’t mean it’s not worthwhile. And just because my journal might not be as pretty as someone else’s, it doesn’t take away from its effectiveness. (Uh, this should work for my body image as well, but baby steps).
So here is how I plan to move forward:
- Plan my bullet journal. I know this seems redundant, but I need this. I need to have a plan, a purpose of the journal. Part of this process will also be laying out the pages. I will need to figure out what goes where, because you know, OCD.
- Breathe. It is hard for me to accept that mine will not look like the, oh so pretty, ones you see on pinterest. I will have to learn to breathe and know that the purpose of the journal isn’t to be pretty, but to be better organised and improve my habits.
- Stay committed. As I said before, if things start to trigger my anxiety I tend to just stop altogether. But, with this I can’t, I just can’t. I know doing this will improve my mental health and just my daily life in the long run, that the few days of stress will be worth it.
I know this post is probably meaningless to the majority of you, but for me this is part of the process. Writing down the mundane stress of being stressed and not wanting to be stressed. Have any of you felt this way? What did you do? Do you bullet journal? Has it helped you in anyway? Let me know, I’d love to hear from you.